we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Boobs are out for the taking
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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