she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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