My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
