I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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