Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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