Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
