Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
