I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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