my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
