he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
