Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
All the doctor said was why
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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