omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
