Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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