oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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