brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm passing your future prison.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
