He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
