She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
