I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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