I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
