Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
