Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
