When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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