Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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