when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
