you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
