she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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