I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my sisters under your porch take her home
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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