Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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