so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
