bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
