I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I can tuck mytits in my pants
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
