Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
