Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
did i walk over a car last night?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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