I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
