just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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