I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
