32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
