he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
