Too much gin, very little bucket
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
