haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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