I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
