pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
