he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You took a bar mat shot.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
