she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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