god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
