You can't special order awesome
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
