rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
