I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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