Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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