whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
