lets start a swedish sibling band together
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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