HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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