where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
