she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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