is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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