Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
