I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
