So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
