You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
